What are the most daunting factors about IVF treatment?
The time/energy it takes, cost of treatment, and the uncertainty that comes with it. With all of these factors and with so much at stake, it is no surprise that many IVF patients report feeling stressed!
When preparing for medical treatment, such as IVF, how can you prepare yourself mentally & emotionally?
There are a couple of different things you can do to prepare. The first is to educate yourself. It is helpful to understand how things are done and what you can expect from each part of the process. It is important, however, that you get this information from reliable sources (too much internet research can actually increase your anxiety). Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor and staff members questions—they are there to guide you through every step of the process.
The second thing is to really start focusing on caring for yourself emotionally. Decide in advance what you can cut from your schedule during your IVF cycle. Learn to say no to people. Indulge in activities that you find enjoyable. Set aside time to do something fun with your partner each week. Taking care of yourself will significantly impact how you feel throughout the process.
How can we manage our expectations and fears, as we go through treatment?
The best thing you can do is take the treatment one day at a time. In the beginning, the whole process can seem complicated and it is easy to become overwhelmed when you look at it from beginning to end. Try to keep your focus on what you need to do that day and worry about the next step when it comes.
Part of the difficulty of infertility is that so many things are uncertain. Sometimes when you are feeling particularly anxious, it can be helpful to allow yourself some designated “worry time.” Set aside 15 minutes of your day to let your mind wander and worry. Once your worry time is up, refocus your thoughts on something more positive.
Another technique that I often recommend is to start trusting in your inner strengths. Look at challenges that you’ve dealt with in the past and think about how you overcame them. Tell yourself that you will handle this challenge, no matter what it brings.
How can I be supportive of my partner during treatment?
The best thing you can do for your partner is ask what he or she needs—and then do it. Men and women tend to cope with things differently. You may not understand why your partner needs to talk, but respect this need and listen anyway. If your partner needs space, give it. Remember, it is not your job to “fix” anything. It is your job to let your partner know that you are there for him or her.
Are there any key indicators that would be factors in seeking professional help?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, and these feelings are interfering with your life, you may want to consider seeking professional help. Talking to a professional may also be beneficial if you just need to vent feelings of anger or frustration. Patients often find that they are unable to share their “real” feelings about infertility with friends or family members. Talking to a professional can allow you to express whatever you’re feeling without fear of being misunderstood or judged.
How can the upcoming seminar help FCLV patients?
During the seminars, I discuss the same techniques that I teach to my clients. You will get an overview of a number of different stress management techniques that are easy to incorporate into your daily life. Just applying one of these techniques can make a big difference in how you feel during the IVF process.
Why is working with fertility patients important to you?
We live in a culture that doesn’t do well with grief and loss issues such as infertility; subsequently there is a lack of resources and support in this area. I know firsthand just how difficult infertility is, and working with fertility patients allows me the opportunity to offer empathy and support to people who may be having a difficult time finding it elsewhere. Although I enjoy working with all types of people, I find it especially meaningful to help individuals and couples during one of the most significant journeys of their lifetime—that of building their families.
